I can't wait for the "I told you so"

So everyone at work is getting just giddy over the holidays. Secret Santas as far as the eye can see. I've dodged that bullet this year, or so I thought.

So at a meeting the other day when the boss asks "What are we doing for the holidays?". I'm silent hoping someone else says the words "Retaining my dignity and not participating in a stupid "festive" f'ing office hell." No one does. Cowards.

So, the boss then suggests a team lunch. Not a bad idea. Everybody hangs out away from the office, talks a little and gets a free meal out of it. Sweet. Then the standard "where?" discussion starts. So finally someone opens the metaphorical door and asks, "Where can they seat us all at one table in case we exchange gifts?". If I could have legally bored a hole in that person's head using only a spoon and my displeasure, I'd be a much happier man today.

So then someone (the supervisor) suggests we exchange gifts, but with a twist. Did anyone see the recent Christmas episode of "The Office" on NBC (The US version, I know all about the UK version and it's superiority, so save it). It featured a little practice called "Yankee swap". I actually tried to stop it. I said out loud...No. It's a recipe for disaster. I, of course, was drowned out in a sea of contrived enthusiasm because it was the boss' decision. For those who don't know what a Yankee swap AKA White Elephant Gift Exchange is, I'll give you the definition according to a quick google:

"Traditionally, a "White Elephant" is something lying around the house that you don't want (some horridly ugly item that someone gave you as a gift or some other item unwanted for some reason). I am of the belief that in most parts of the country, if you tell someone to bring a White Elephant gift it will almost certainly be a gag gift and not something genuinely useful or desirable." - Thanks to http://www.santalady.com/xmasgame/whiteelephant.html

Sounds fun, huh? Can't wait for the first racially, or politically insensitive or just plain stupid gift to be unwrapped. I'm telling you, when this all goes wrong I will laugh like a smug, smug bastard. At least I'll have a good seat.