We just took the kids to go see that infamous fat man today. Of course, nothing makes me happier than capitalism at work, but I loathe the mall. I'm not one for all the ruckus. I like my experiences to be as calm and orderly as possible. Not a possibility today...
The mall must have had 2.2 trillion people in it. It might not have been so bad if 2.19999 trillion of them weren't inconsiderate mouth breathers. I swear people need brake lights and turn signals, cause you just never know when they're going to stop or take a hard left right into your seven year old. Then there were the several young men that felt a need to look at me (and all the other males under the age of 50) as if they were gonna shank me in the rec yard. Yes, I know your from the streets of suburbia, and I'm nervous of you, your practiced hard look, and your knowledge of all the lyrics of 50 cent's (That's fitty if you're from the streetz, yo) new song. Your glare just makes me wanna to piss all over myself. You are obviously the Alpha male.
What I thought was a good idea was they were giving those restaraunt pagers to all the parents who were there to see Santa. Instead of staying in line for 2 hours (literally how long it would have taken), you can roam around the mall for that time and spend money. Really a good idea for all involved. The beauty of it was that the better half offered to go to the mall first on a recon mission of sorts. She went and got the pager, and then called to tell me how long the wait was. I then waited at home for most of the 2 hours, and then brought the kids. She rocks sometimes. REALLY cut out the annoyance factor for me. She knows me, and she didn't want me yelling something vulgar and insulting to random people in the middle of the mall. I get to that point with stupidity sometimes. I think she'd make me wear a warning sticker if I'd agree. BEWARE OF HUMAN, or something like that.
Of course, when we answer the call to duty, the lady says. "Weren't you already here?". I couldn't answer with the answer with the first thing that came to mind, so I just stared at her as if she were speaking Mandarin Chinese.
All in all, we got the task of seeing Santa done. It only took about 1.5 hours total, so it wasn't that bad I guess. Still, shopping online sure beats the pants off that mall crap anyday.
Yeaaaaa, Christmas.
2 comments:
I too, loathe the mall.
If you haven't seen ELF you should (if you are in for silly humor and love Will Ferrel). That movie is the only one lately that makes me relax when I think about the holidays.
I have seen Elf...and I love it. "Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?" was almost my tag line at the bottom of my blog.
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